WRONGWAY'S RETURN
by K9grmingTwihard
Summary: An AU to 'The Return of Wrongway Feldman' featuring Kahla'kekoa.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

"Okay now say them again!" The Professor replied.

"A Pill Bah nan nuh Can Tah Lobe!" Kahla'kekoa replied.

"Very good!" The Skipper replied.

The Professor, the Skipper, Gilligan and Kahla'kekoa were on their way to the lagoon with the telescope. The Professor was teaching Kahla'kekoa a little more English. After a very progressive morning the Professor decided to show her their telescope.

"Look distance?" She asked as the set it up on a ridge near the lagoon.

"Yes exactly!" The Professor replied as he positioned the telescoped. "Take a look!"

"Oooh!" Kahla'kekoa replied as she looked towards the ocean.

"See anything?" The Skipper asked.

"Jump fish fly bird!" Kahla'kekoa replied then pointed the telescope up at the sky. "Look fly ink med doll cah new!"

"Flying metal canoe may I see?" The Skipper replied calmly not wanting to scare her. "It's a plane yes it's a plane!"

"Let me see let me see!" Gilligan replied and looked through the telescope. "It's Wrongway! He's come baaaaack. . . "

"Pillow that go other path?" Kahla'kekoa asked as the Skipper grabbed at falling Gilligan and practically carried him back to the clearing as they heard a loud muttering noise.

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	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 1**

They all made their way to the clearing and starting cheering and waving at Wrongway.

"Hey Wrongway!" They all shouted. "It's good to see you! Oh Wrongway!"

The castaways got out of the way as Wrongway landed and sputtered to a halt at the edge of the clearing. They made their way over to the plane's side as Wrongway cut the engine and Gilligan climbed up onto the wing. Kahla'kekoa tapped the wing curiously.

"It's good to see ya!" Gilligan replies as Wrongway stood up in the cockpit.

"Awe tha . . . thanks Professor thanks!" Wrongway replies seemingly distracted.

"Girls why don't you fix Wrongway something to eat!" The Professor replied.

"Okay! Alright!" Ginger and Mary Ann both reply and run off.

"What about help?" The Professor asks. "Are they going to send a boat after us?"

"You wouldn't believe the trip I had!" Wrongway replies ignoring the Professor. "I was attacked by a giant eagle and almost crashed!"

"An eagle!" Mrs. Howell replied. "Oh how dreadful!"

"Yeah I almost shot it down till I saw it was one of ours!" Wrongway replies. "American!"

"Alright alright Wrongway!" The Skipper replies getting impatient. "What about the rescue?"

"Oh boy I had some trouble!" Wrongway replies ignoring the question. "It took me almost two months to get this plane off the ground!"

"Two months?" Gilligan asks as Kahla'kekoa hops up and sits next to him.

"Yeah it was in the cellar of a museum!" Wrongway replies. "I had a devil of a time getting it through the door! Th . . . the stairs were alright but the door was so narrow!"

"Wrongway are they going to send a boat after us?" The Professor asked impatiently.

"So we can be rescued!" Gilligan replies.

"Di . . . Did you notify the authorities?" Mr. Howell asks hopefully.

"Certainly not!" Wrongway replies. "What in the world would I do a thing like that for?"

"So we can get off the island!" Gilligan replies confused.

"And leave this paradise!" Wrongway replies dreamily.

"You mean to say that nobody knows that you're here!" The Skipper groans.

"Ah to tell you the truth, I don't know where I am!" Wrongway replies.

"Then we're not going to be rescued!" Mr. Howell replies groaning.

"Course not!" Wrongway replies. "And you can be sure that nobody followed me either. I . . . I flew with my light off."

"Why did you come back then!" Mr. Howell asks angrily.

"Wait a minute who is this?" Wrongway asks noticing Kahla'kekoa for the first time.

"Oh this is Kahla'kekoa!" Gilligan replies smiling at her.

"Her parents passed away in a nearby tribe and we're looking after her for a while!" The Professor replies.

"Well I came back to get away from that horrid thing you call civilization!" Wrongway replies as he shakes Kahla'kekoa's hand. "Back there is all rush rush rush push push push. I didn't want any part of it. Do you really want to subject her to that as well?"

Gilligan looked down at Kahla'kekoa then back at everyone else.

"But we want to go home!" Gilligan replies tugging at Wrongway's sleeve.

"My boy this is your home!" Wrongway replies placing a hand on his shoulder. "And it's going to be mine for the rest of my life!"

The Howells stared at him in disbelief then looked at each other then left. The Skipper huffed then left with Gilligan following behind them. Wrongway stared after him shaking his head then began rummaging around his cockpit.

"Wrongway be reasonable!" The Professor replied. "You were only back there for five months did you even try to get settled."

"Oh I tried Professor!" Wrongway replied as he handed a curious Kahla'kekoa his helmet. "But you wouldn't believe all the loud noises. All the whistles and honking from the trains, subways and cars. All the people with the rushing, the pushing, and the shoving!"

"But Wrongway be reasonable!" The Professor replied as Kahla'kekoa climbed into the back of the plane and Wrongway smiled and handed her his goggles. "You've got to go back and got to get help! We all miss the States!"

"What's there to miss?" Wrongway asked as he helped Kahla'kekoa down from the plane. "The hustle, bustle, all that noise and the smog ugh! There's absolutely no privacy hah! This is the life! Earth, trees, grass, nature!"

"But Wrongway . . ." The Professor began.

"And what about her?" Wrongway asks gesturing to Kahla'kekoa who stood next to the Professor. "What will you do with her if you ever go back there?"

The Professor looked down at Kahla'kekoa who looked back up at him raising her eyebrows.

"Does she even speak English?" Wrongway asks. "And judging by her eyes she probably has Castaway blood in her?"

"Yes we've been teaching her English and yes she's descended from castaways!" The Professor began. "And we've been caring for her since she lost both of her parents last month. And if we were to return to civilization we'll leave it up to her to decide if she wants to return to her tribe or not!"

"Oh please Professor!" Wrongway replied. "She wouldn't last a second back there! Her ancestors chose wisely when they chose to stay wherever she's from. I even tried staying in Yellowstone Park but the bears there wore uniforms and put out fires!"

"But Wrongway . . ." The Professor began.

"Not buts Professor!" Wrongway interrupted him. "I'm staying here!"

The Professor sighed and just watched him go shaking his head.

"He is sounding shell fish!" Kahla'kekoa said to the Professor as they began walking.

"He is indeed!" The Professor replied. "He became overwhelmed with how much it changed back home that he became fixated on coming back to the point where he doesn't want to help us get back home."

"Elder Klaus say that happened to all my tribe's castaways!" Kahla'kekoa began. "When he had recovered the whirly waters had disappeared for a few days. Klaus's friend, um Rain No I think, was ready to go home but Klaus had fallen in love with Keiki'ola. Rain No was about to leave but lost his nerve. He said he wanted to stay because he wanted to look at our plants and animals some more!"

"Hmmm!" The Professor replied. "Was he still around when you left?"

"No!" Kahla'kekoa replied. "Klaus said he climbed up Dancing Spider Mountain and never returned. They never found his body!"

"Hmmm!" The Professor replied thoughtfully. "What about Klaus's family though?"

"He say parents already pass and have no siblings!" Kahla'kekoa replied.

"Hmmm!" The Professor was thoughtful again. "I guess we'll just have to think of something to get him to return then."

"Pretend to be sick!" Kahla'kekoa replied after a few minutes.

"That could work!" The Professor replied. "Let's see what the others have come up with!"

**0o0o0o0o**

Later that day the Professor and Kahla'kekoa joined Skipper and Gilligan at the hill near the lagoon where they had first spotted Wrongway.

"Well I tried talking to him too." The Professor was saying. "But he's determined to stay here!"

"One things for sure he hasn't been good on the morale around here!" The Skipper replied. "Ginger hasn't stopped crying and Mr. Howell's threatening to jump off his steamer trunk!"

"Wait a minute!" Gilligan replied suddenly. "I could fly that plane! Wrongway taught me how remember? It's ignition, contact, choke, throttle, stick, flaps!"

"Say that's worth a try!" The Professor replied.

"Or is it flaps, choke, throttle, stick contact?" Gilligan asks.

"Oh never mind Gilligan!" The Skipper replied annoyed. "You couldn't even make it to the cockpit!"

"If there was only some reason Wrongway had to go back." The Professor replied. "For instance Kahla'kekoa has an idea for someone to be sick!"

"Yes that's a great idea!" The Skipper replied. "W . . . when I was in the Navy we had to send all the way back to port for a doctor!"

"Yes you've got something there!" The Professor replied.

"I could pretend I was sick!" Gilligan replied.

"Gilligan you won't have to pretend cause you'll just mess it up!" The Skipper replied rolling his eyes. "I'll take care of this! You find Wrongway while I get set!"

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	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 2**

Wrongway was on his way back from his plane when all of a sudden the native girl jumps down in front of him. Boy she was intimidating with the long braids in the middle of her head and the different colored eyes.

"SKEE PURR SEEK SKEE PURR SEEK!" She shouts jumping up and down.

"I I I'm sorry I can't understand you!" Wrongway replies at a loss of what to do as Gilligan ran up.

"Wrongway come quick the Skipper's sick!" Gilligan replied as he started pulling him towards the hut.

Kahla'kekoa remained where she was, leaned against a tree and took in a deep breath as the Professor walked up.

"What's wrong didn't you want to join them?" The Professor asked.

"No even pretend sick is too soon!" She replied shakily.

"That's understandable!" The Professor replied softly. "But you do know you'll have to face your fears sooner or later correct!"

"I know!" She sighs as the Professor pulled her into a hug as the Skipper came running up and breathed a sigh of relief.

"What happened?" The Professor asked as Gilligan suddenly appeared as well.

"He was going to operate on me himself rather than get help!" The Skipper replied.

"He thought it was his appendix and he done it before with his friend Buckey during the war!" Gilligan replied.

"Oh no!" The Professor sighed as Kahla'kekoa rolled her eyes.

"We need a new plan!" The Skipper replied as they began walking to the lagoon.

"Bone break?" Kahla'kekoa asked holding up her arm and looked as if she were about to climb a tree.

"No let's try something less extreme!" The Professor asked as Gilligan pulled her away from the tree.

"I could pretend to be sick!" Gilligan replied.

"All right Gilligan!" The Skipper sighed. "But let's make it a real good illness."

"We'll look through my medical books!" The Professor replied as they headed back to the huts.

After about an hour going through the Professor's medical book they finally decided on Bola Bola fever. The Skipper and Gilligan left while going over the symptoms.

"Are you going to join them this time!" The Professor asked Kahla'kekoa as he put away his book.

"I think I will this time!" She replied taking a deep breath and ran out.

**0o0o0o0o**

Kahla'kekoa caught up to the Skipper who was behind a tree watching Gilligan attempting to be sick.

"Now's our cue! Can you pretend to cry?" He asked through regretted it as soon as tears welled up in her eyes. "Okay then let's get this over with!"

"Gilligan! Little buddy!" Skipper replied feigning concern and winced as Kahla'kekoa tighten her grip on his arm. "You look awful what's the matter!?"

"I got a dry mouth," Gilligan began as he fell into his arms, breathed in heavily and whispers. "You know!"

"I don't know what's wrong!" Wrongway replied confused. "I just saw him staggering along!"

"Wha…wha…what do you think Wrongway!" The Skipper replied.

"Way Way wah?" Kahla'kekoa sobbed out as they helped Gilligan sit down at the table.

"Ah…ah…ah could be ah... jungle fever, then again…" Wrongway replied as he poked Gilligan in the stomach.

"Ooo ooo ooo yeah!" Gilligan replied trying to laugh. "Ooo yeah!"

"I mean really hurt?" Wrongway asked curiously.

"Real bad!" Gilligan pretended to moan. "Real bad!"

"I don't believe it I don't believe it!" Wrongway exclaimed.

"Fee Vor!?" Kahla'kekoa squeaked out.

"No no it's another appendicitis" Wrongway replied. "You better get my monkey wrench!"

"Oh no I think you're wrong Wrongway!" The Skipper replied as he felt Gilligan's forehead. "He...he's hot!"

"Oh I'm burning up!" Gilligan replied. "I'm on fire I'm on fire!"

"Bola Bola Fever!" Skipper replied.

"I…I thought it was Bola Bola fever but he doesn't have all the symptoms!" Wrongway replied.

"E doughnut!" Kahla'kekoa replied knowing where this was going.

"What are some of the other ones!?" Skipper asked nervously.

"Well fainting spells," Wrongway began as Gilligan fell to the ground.

"Wrongway this is serious!" Skipper replied desperately.

"No it's not as serious!" Wrongway replied. "It's probably just a twenty four hour Bola Bola."

"Well how do you know?" Skipper asked curiously.

"Because with a serious Bola Bola you get nose bleeds!" Wrongway replied.

"We'll be right back!" The Skipper replied as Kahla'kekoa gasped and Gilligan looked horrified as Skipper pulled him aside.

"No…no…no that's tropical Bola Bola fever!" Wrongway replied. "No with the Bola Bola you just have the fainting!"

Gilligan drops to the ground once more.

"He's getting worse! He needs help!" Skipper replies desperately.

"Your right!" Wrongway sighs. "Maybe the Professor can fix him up huh!"

"Wrongway he needs a doctor!" Skipper whines.

"Wa… that would mean goin back to Hawaia. I'll have to think that over. Goin back to Hawaia?" Wrongway replies desperately.

He looked into their native girl's glistening eyes and was at a loss.

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